


Hearts Don't Break Around Here

by orphan_account



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bad Jokes, Falling In Love, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kid Fic, M/M, Other idols are mentioned - Freeform, implied/referenced bad parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-24
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-12-06 07:07:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11595462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "Nonsense. Rain is perfect. I don't need anyone, but if it makes you shut up, fine. I'll meet up with this Johnny guy, but just don't expect anything out of it."Ten Leechai; depressed, anxious, and sarcastic, is a 21 year old single father of a just-turned 4 year old son, Rain Leechai. He is set up with a man named Johnny Seo thanks to his friend, Taeyong Lee, who think he's way too lonely. This is a story about how Ten fell in love while struggling with depression and the hardships of being a single father.





	Hearts Don't Break Around Here

**Author's Note:**

> I really really love kid fics. The thought of single parents finding love is really romantic to me idk why.
> 
> Some things might be inaccuraute, but I wrote this because I hate the way depression and anxiety are portrayed in fan fiction. You do not "get better" when you meet someone you love. 
> 
> Depression is not just feeling sad, it's having no motivation to do simple tasks, it's not genuinely caring if you were to die today or tomorrow. It's pure hell and it's defiently not curable(?). You learn to live with it.
> 
> Anxiety is not being scared to talk to people, it's overthinking and having mental breakdowns because you believe those bad thoughts. 
> 
> Depression and anxiety are not related, they are merely neighbors. 
> 
> Also I'm pretty surprised I didn't put any physical self-harm in this fic. It just shows that depression is enough to kill a man instead of the man doing the job faster.
> 
> Anyway.
> 
> I didn't mean to turn this into a romcom sort of thing, I wanted angst but I'm horrible and Ten is basically me in story form.
> 
> I spent at least two days' worth of hours writing this so I hope you enjoy.
> 
>  
> 
> Nothing is proof read and I'm sorry for spelling errors.

The moonlight seeped through the bedroom, the cars on the street blared their engine as they passed the apartment of a man who laid on his bed. The man was only twenty, not twenty one, at least not just yet. But as the alarmclock on his bedside blared in vibrant red acid numbers of 00:00, he silently whispered to himself:

" _Happy birthday._.."

Before attaching his eyes back onto the ceiling, watching the line of light from the moonlight shine through the crack of his curtains. Just then, the door opened ever so softly. A small voice echoed through the dead silent bedroom.

"Daddy?"

The man turned over just as a small boy walked closer, reaching his arms up to be held. The man couldn't help but smile sadly, sitting up on his bed and lifting the small boy up into his arms. The boy wrapped his arms around his daddy's neck and cradled into his hold, the man nearly wept as he held his son close. The boy lifted up his head, looking at his father's face in the dark bedroom.

"I remember.. Your birthday..." The little boy splutters, his vowels and consonants not pronounced properly, but the man understood and felt his heart swell as he smiled. He nodded, and the small boy smiled, the smile replicating the man's.

The man cuddled his son until they both fell asleep, sadness distracted in the man's mind by the soft snoring of his son.

 

 

**_FOUR DAYS LATER_ **

  
"I know what you're thinking," Says a person with dyed hair, so pastel and pink, before taking a sip of his lemonade, eyes never leaving the dark haired man across him. "You're kind of oblivious, Ten."

Ten tore his eyes away from the couple who sat across from them in the mall food court, huffing. The pastel man laughs. "I know you want a relationship, I don't understand why you just don't date me."

"Because you're my friend and that concept repulse us both, Taeyong," Ten says, looking down at his son who ate his A&W fries in silence. The little boy looked up as his father and giggled. The pastel man, Taeyong, groaned. "That's true. But you have Rain, he's really cute and he pulls in a ton of girls," He says, looking down at the little boy who swings his head happily. "I'm not using my son like that. Plus, I'm not into girls."

"I know. But still, exploiting your son for your own benefit isn't as bad as it sounds," Taeyong attempts to argue but is shut down rather quickly by Ten. "You're a horrible person, you know that? Why am I your friend? Why didn't I ask Doyoung out insteas of you," Ten sighs rather dramatically and Rain glances at him as Taeyong stutters out a laugh. "You know I'm kidding, right?"

Ten responds by rolling his eyes and looking down at Rain who has stopped eating to focus on the small plushie he held that Ten had bought him at the Disney shop earlier; it was a plush Pooh bear. Rain's favorite. Ten looks back up to Taeyong who is looking at him with a smug look and his phone in his hand.

"I know you hate me bringing him up, but if you just listen -"

"Taeyong, you know I hate when you do this," Ten sighs for the hundredth time that day. "Okay, but Ten, please, just listen," Taeyong pleads, and Ten is about to shut him down once more but Taeyong nearly screams. "Ten! Please!"

It makes Ten shut his mouth and Rain laugh.

"Johnny's not a bad guy -"

"I've never met him before."

"- I've heard from Jaehyun that he's a really chill, open minded guy. Plus, he's financially stable so you don't have to worry about money-hungry douches like that, um, Kyuhyun guy -"

"I've also never seen how he looks."

"Ten! Please! I've tried to show you pictures, but you never looked," Taeyong waves his blacked out phone screen in Ten's face who huffs. "In fact, when you were piss fucking drunk on your birthday night, Doyoung kept showing you pictures of him and you were literally enticed dude."

Ten's face scrunched up, a distasteful expression on his face. "Okay, don't bring up my alcohol digestion in front of my son ever again, also, that doesn't count at all because I literally can't remember jack."

Taeyong laughs, but it's sarcastic. "Yeah, and so we want you to meet him," Ten rolls his eyes. "And just see how it goes! If you don't like him, then fine! We'll stop setting you up. But just know that things were looking good with Taeil until you had a mental breakdown and shunned everyone from your life, except Rain, of course, for two weeks."

Ten looks scandalized, a flashback of his breakdown two years ago plays in his mind. Taeil was there, at least on the other side of the door, trying to calm down Ten who literally felt like he was going to stop breathing. He doesn't know what triggered his anxiety attack, they sometimes just came by when he found himself having too good of a time, and maybe it saw that Ten was actually doing good and just had to change that.

"At least Taeil is a good friend," Ten shakes his head, further repressing that horrid memory. Taeyong rolls his eyes. "You have too many good friends and not enough lovers," He says and Ten looks scandalized yet again. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"You've only dated once in your life, and look what that has given you," Taeyong motions to Rain who has gone back to eating his fries. "You're twenty one and only had one relationship. Not saying you should get out more, but that's exactly what I'm saying. We all know you hate being alone and sometimes Rain isn't enough to suffice your needs."

"Nonsense. Rain is perfect. I don't need anyone, but if it makes you shut up, fine. I'll meet up with this Johnny guy, but just don't expect anything out of it."

 

 

**_ONE WEEK LATER_ **

  
Ten holds Rain's hand as they walk to the park. He was albeit nervous because after a week after his and Taeyong's talk in the mall food court, Ten was finally meeting up with this Johnny. Of course, Ten didn't want to not include Rain, and any suggestion from his snake friends about a dinner with just them two was shut down immediately. Ten wanted something casual, something that showed he cared more about his son then the other end of this blind date.

So the park was suggested.

Ten just happened to live near a play park, so he said yes. He didn't have to tell Taeyong or Doyoung the address because they already knew. So Ten had gotten ready this morning on this March spring day, and he was not rude so he dressed appropriately for taking his son to the park and for the purpose of meeting a new friend (black jeans, a white mid length sleeve, v neck, and he's actually did his hair so it wasn't an untamable fuzz ball). Rain wore normal Rain clothes because the three and a half year old boy wasn't dressed to impress anyone. Shorts and a t shirt with a dinosaur on the front. Ten packed a bag with snacks, water and small toys incase Rain got hungry or bored.

LA had it's perks. No snow. Ten loved that.

When the two of them reached the park, Rain got excited upon seeing the big contraption with kids playing on it. It wasn't that Ten never took him out, but it was just that he didn't have the motivation to and it kind of sucked that he was draining Rain of a normal childhood because of his depression. At least he was getting somewhat better then when Rain was a baby where Ten cried whenever the baby did, how, sometimes, he couldn't get up to make a new bottle for Rain so he'd have to call Taeyong who was sympathetic, and how he nearly missed Rain's crying because of his deep depression naps. Ten also repressed that memory. At least he was becoming more responsible for Rain as much as he wanted to kill himself for his past self's actions.

Ten smiled down at Rain who giggled and dragged him to the play set.

"Careful, Rain. Don't want you falling down, right?" Ten said and Rain nodded. "Never. I'll be safe!" Called the three year old who was getting way too smart for his age. Ten grinned as he followed Rain on the outside of the contraption as kids ran around, making sure he got to the slide safely. "Daddy, catch me!" Rain screeched, sitting on top of the slide.

Ten went to the end of the slide and held open his arms as Rain slide down, giggling when he slide right into his father's arms. Ten couldn't help but feel happiness in the pit of his stomach at the sound of Rain's melodious laughter. Of course, being the energetic toddler he is, Rain demanded to slide down again.

Ten easily forgot the real purpose why he came to the park.

After nearly twenty minutes of Rain sliding and giggling, Ten was exhausted after nervously patrolling after his son who seemed fine to be left alone for a few minutes while he rested. But Ten's anxiety made that impossible, and he waited for Rain at the bottom of the slide after calling out that they'll rest for a while. Rain wasn't a disobedient child, thankfully his terrible twos went by, so he was respectful towards Ten's orders and slid down with laughter.

Ten held Rain in his arms who attempted to reach for the bag on Ten's hips. Ten turned to the benches, seeing a mother feed her son and a man with black hair sitting near the edge of the bench with an awkward posture. Ten bluntly ignored both people and walked to the bench, ignoring the stare the man gave him as he sat in the middle of both people, placing Rain next to him. Rain bounced as Ten brought the bag on his lap and zipped it open.

"Do you want the banana or the apple?" Ten asks the toddler who pouts as he pretends to think, the face making Ten laugh. "Banana!" Rain says, and Ten grins as he pulls out the banana and peels it for the little boy who takes the fruit with no other words and begins to eat it. Ten ruffles Rain's dark hair and pulls out a water bottle from the bag and cracks it open. He takes a sip, and at the corner of his eye, Ten sees the man staring at him.

A conflicting situation plays in Ten's head: he could either confront the man and ask what the fuck was up, or he could ignore the man and focus solely on Rain who gobbled his snack. Before Ten could think any much more, the man says: "Excuse me, are you Ten Leechai?"

Ten spits out his water, shook to the core as Rain giggles at his father's misfortune. Suddenly the reason why Ten came to the park crashes down on him and he's nearly choking as he nods relentlessly. "Unfortunately," He mutters as he wipes his dribbled water on his shirt and caps the bottle up. His palms are clammy but he ignores his internal battle. "You must be Johnny... Seo?"

The man nods, a smile forming on his face as Ten finds himself staring at the taller man more. "Um, sorry. If you were waiting. I got... distracted," Ten says, deciding that's better then saying he totally forgot that A Date with Johnny Seo was forgotten. "No problem, man. I'm guessing he's Rain." Johnny motions to Rain who is halfway done his banana. The speaking of his name has Rain looking up, his eyes connect with Johnny's and he's grinning, little baby teeth exposed and Johnny chuckles. Ten can't deny that his heart swells at the sight.

Rain is bad at meeting new people, just like Ten, but it seems like they're both sucking it up because the adrenaline of playing has got them both worked up a bit.

"He's cute. He looks a lot like you," Johnny comments and it's the best compliment Ten hears because he loves knowing that a little adorable human looks like him, so he flushes and nods. "Thanks, I guess?" Ten replies rather awkwardly, earning a chuckle from Johnny.

"I was hoping you caught my implication. You're cute, and obviously Rain is too, but I used it to inherently say you're cute without sounding like a creep," Johnny clarifies, a smirk on his face that has Ten flushing more. "I caught it." Ten says, just to sound cool and hip despite not catching that implication at all. He giggles softly as Rain slides off the bench and stands in front of Ten.

"What catch?" Rain asks, eyes wide as he looks for the supposed object Ten has caught with his banana in his one hand. Ten laughs as Johnny joins, Rain looks confused as he looks between both men with a frown. Ten pulls Rain up into his arms, the little boy not protesting as he goes back to eating his banana on Ten's lap.

"Wow. Amazing, kids are so cute," Johnny says once they've calmed down. Ten can't help but agree. "They are."

 

 

**_TWO DAYS LATER_ **

  
"That's all?" Taeyong asks, and Ten looks at him. "What do you mean, 'that's all?' We just met that day, what did you expect us to do? Rain was getting cranky after an hour arrival so we had to leave," Ten says, crossing his arms as he sits on Taeyong's sofa, Rain playing with toys on the ground. Doyoung laughs. "Don't worry about him, Ten. He was expecting you guys to hook up, though."

Taeyong throws a pillow at Doyoung and Ten scoffs. "I'm not like you, Taeyong. I don't fuck on the first date, not that that was even a date," Ten rolls his eyes as Rain looks undisturbed from the vile lamguage. "Hey! Sicheng was totally into fucking on the first date, that's why we've been dating for eight months!"

"Well, sorry I'm not a sex bunny like you guys are. I honestly don't think about sex much, should I be worried?" Ten suddenly asks. It's pretty much true. Ten is more of a tender, romantic person. Sex never flits through his mind as much as it should for a 21 year old male. "Yes! That's weird as fuck," Taeyong says, earning the same pillow he threw to Doyoung smack against his face. "Don't listen to him, Ten. It's fine if you don't think about sex. I think it's romantic, not every man is a sex hazed rabbit."

Taeyong glares at Doyoung.

"This is why Doyoung is my best friend, he's so sympathetic," Ten says with a sigh as Doyoung brightly grins and Taeyong deflates. "Taeyong can be nice when he wants to, I know that. But Doyoung is forever nice. Why can't I just fall in love with you?"

"Because you're gay and I'm not," Doyoung says and Ten sighs as he leans back into the sofa. "I fucking hate you heteros."

 

 

  
**_FOUR DAYS LATER_ **

  
Ten is at Doyoung's apartment, who he shares with Jung Jaehyun, someone Ten doesn't know well. He's with Rain who watches TV intently because it's something Ten doesn't have at his own apartment. They invited Ten over because the game was on but Rain took up the TV so they settled for a few beers instead and chatted a storm up in the kitchen. Ten was limiting himself because he really didn't need to be wasted when he walks home with Rain, plus he doesn't like beer so he holds his first and probably only can between his hands as Jaehyun and Doyoung argue.

Just then, the front door could be heard opening.

"Yolo!" The voice is all too familiar, and Ten is whipping his head around just as none other than Johnny Seo walks in, who doesn't see Ten at first. "I brought a 6 pack at your request, Jaehyun. Be proud of me that I actually listened to you for once." Johnny says, placing the six pack of more beer on the counter before turning around, eyes immediately falling on Ten.

"Oh shit," Johnny says as he laughs. "Sorry you had to hear my embarrassing yolo." He says, Jaehyun and Doyoung turning back to continue their argument as Johnny strides over and sits next to Ten.

"Anyway, how have you been, Ten?" Johnny asks, reaching over and snagging a beer and cracking it open. Ten watches as foam bubbles up against Johnny's rather thick lips before his eyes drag up to the taller's eyes. "It's been 6 days since we last saw each other." Johnny says as if it's not completely obvious. But Ten finds himself laughing.

"Uhm, yeah. I'm pretty good," Ten says as if he didn't have a six hour depression nap just today. "I went to the store yesterday, so," Ten sips his beer. Going to the store is literally the most eventful thing that happened in Ten's week and it almost makes him sad once more until Johnny cuts in. "Yeah? Great. I love going to the store." Johnny sips his beer.

Ten is a bit uncomfortable, not because of Johnny, but because of the person he is. He fidgets a bit before abruptly standing up, startling Johnny. "Woah, um, sorry. I'm just going to check on Rain." Ten apologizes, walking out of the kitchen and into the living room where Rain is watching, of course, Winnie the Pooh.

"Hey buddy, you good?" Ten asks, earning a nod from the small boy who hugs his Pooh plushie tighter. Ten sits on the sofa as Rain sits on the floor, too close to the TV, and it should worry Ten, and it does, but he knows to leave Rain alone when watching Winnie the Pooh. Talking to him is alright but physically moving him away would result in a warzone. So Ten watches the animated show with Rain in silence for a few minutes.

Until Johnny comes in.

Thankfully, no alcohol with him. Rain doesn't need to see those. Johnny sits beside Ten, looking at Rain, then the TV, and then to Ten. "I didn't know he was here. Should've guessed, though, hogging the TV to himself, forcing you guys into the kitchen for domestic drinking." Johnny admits, leaning against the sofa cushions. Johnny's oddly close to Ten considering this is a three seat couch and he chose to sit in the middle when Ten was on the edge, but he forces himself not to think about the way their knees would be touching if Ten relaxed.

"Yeah, we don't have a TV so he really hogs Doyoung's TV. Taeyong doesn't let him watch TV when we're over there," Ten admits, smiling softly when Rain giggles when Tiger does something silly. "Hm." Johnny hums. Just then, their knees brush and Ten can't help but overthink and force himself not to make a big fuss about it so he clenches his teeth. Soon though, he's relaxed and his heart stops beating rapidly.

Why can't Ten process emotions normally? Why couldn't he be normal?

 

 

**_TWO DAYS LATER_ **

  
Ten was kind of freaking out. Rain's birthday was tomorrow and he couldn't quite believe he was going to have a four year old son. Being only 21, it was hard to imagine being 17 and raising a kid for four years, and more of course. But Ten was so very grateful despite his tense shoulders as he made a list of the party shack supplies he was going to get.

Rain deserved the coolest party a 4 year old could enjoy.

He placed an order for a cake from the bakery for tomorrow and had Taeyong and Doyoung order food from other places such as a pizza restaurant, Thai restaurants, and anything they think kids and adults would like equally. Ten's guestlist wasn't the biggest but it was enough to keep Rain busy with all of the people he was familiar with. Plus he loved Sicheng more than Ten knew.

As Rain snored beside him, Ten continued jotting down supplies and what colors they should be. Rain never had themed birthdays and Ten wasn't really fond on starting soon even though Rain's obsession with Winnie the Pooh was prominent. Rain never complained, he liked having glittery streamers and bright red balloons.

The clock ticked from the nightstand and Ten looked over, deciding to call it a night as it neared 3am. He's going to have to wake up early to prepare for Rain's big day.

 

 

**_THE NEXT DAY_ **

  
Ten had woken up at 7am, running on four hours of sleep which was fine, and Rain was still asleep when Doyoung came over that early morning to watch the boy so Ten could go down to the party shack and get the supplies. It was quite a long walk, so when Ten emerged from the party shack with a bag full of supplies, he opted for a cab.

Arriving back to his apartment a little after 10am, Ten was met with not only Doyoung present but Johnny and Taeyong.

"Hey, dude. We just stopped by to maybe help decorate," Taeyong said, leaning an elbow on the counter as Ten set the bag down next to him. Ten couldn't help but glance at Johnny who happened to be looking at him. He couldn't admit it was slightly awkward because they only met once, but Ten shrugged. "That's fine. I'm pretty sure Johnny could reach the ceiling easier than me standing on a chair and inevitably falling over and killing myself."

Taeyong had only laughed and Ten shrugged as he began to unravel bright yellow, glitter infused streamers.

It had taken not a lot of time to decorate, as Ten thought it would, and it might be because he had two helpers, one of them being 6ft tall and being able to reach the ceiling by standing on just his tip toes. But the kitchen and living room area were complete in less than two hours and Ten admired the work as Rain emerged from his bedroom with Doyoung and shrieked at the pretty ceiling.

There was yellow glitter streamers and neon green, along with not only bright red balloons but also blue and yellow. Ten wasn't going for a particular colour pallette, Rain was known for liking bright colours despite the complimentary of them. There was a large happy birthday banner and balloons floating around one specific chair, which was Rain's birthday chair!

Ten smiled at Rain who hopped around and reached up in attempt to touch the bright colors.

Then Ten had to leave to the bakery.

  
_A FEW HOURS LATER_

  
The party begins at 4pm.

There's quite a lot of people, more than Ten expected. There's Taeyong, who brought both of his brothers' kids, Doyoung, Johnny, Haechan, Sicheng and his little brother, Taeil who brought his nephew and niece who were around Rain's age, Noah and Abigail, Taeyong's young coworker at Starbucks, Mark Lee, who Ten wasn't very close friends with but was fine with inviting him, the woman next door, Jennie, and her young sister who is sometimes playmates with Rain, Alex, and the girl from upstairs, Lisa, who seemed to be friends with Jennie, who brought her two younger cousins, Nick and Cole.

The eight children were rowdy as they sat around the kitchen table, exchanging blabbering table talk as the parents laughed and mingled. Ten felt a bit pressured to stay near Rain for some reason, so his social life took a small hit as he avoided conversation and smiled at every guest politely.

From the corner of his eye, Ten had seen Johnny and Mark talking, and he wondered if they knew each other before today with the way Mark seemed to be laughing at everything Johnny said. But he just turned his eye and focused on all of the children who ate the food happily and admired the bright decorations.

Halfway through the party, Taeyong snuck up behind Ten and held him in a loose headlock, which startled the older man. "Dude! You barely talked this entire time! At least thank the guests for coming! Did you see that not only me, you, and Doyoung brought Rain a gift but also Sicheng, Jennie, and Johnny?"

Ten shrugs. Jennie had gotten a gift for Rain last year, but she gave it early and Taeyong insisted that it didn't count. Sicheng wasn't surprising. He knew Rain enough now that he was able to have hobbies and interests. But Johnny? That was a bit surprising because it was so random and completely unexpected.

Taeyong pats his back. "Don't worry, it's just a baby blanket of Winnie the Pooh. It was on sale at Children's Place and you bet I recommended it to him," Taeyong says, and Ten deflates just a tiny bit. Why was he expecting Johnny to willingly get a gift for Rain when they've only met twice? "But go talk to people."

The party goes on for another half hour before the kids start getting antsy for the cake. Ten had taken Taeyong's word and had thanked everyone for coming, even Johnny, who had smiled softly and nodded. "No problem, I haven't been to a children's birthday party in years."

Then, it's time for cake. It's a simple cake with blue icing boarders, HAPPY 4TH BIRTHDAY RAIN is written in big red icing, and Rain gets excited when he sees all the lighten candles as Ten brings it to the table just as Taeyong begins singing happy birthday, the others joining in quickly, and the kids squeal and sing along.

Ten is a bit emotional when he sees Rain blow out all of his candles and everyone cheers. The rest of the day is a hazy for Ten: everyone eats the cake, the kids throw it around but it's fine because they're having fun, and Rain opens his presents and all of his new toys are immediately being taken over by the seven other kids and they play all over the apartment and scream and giggle as Ten watches with a smile on his face because kids are cute. Then, everyone is leaving.

It makes Ten a bit sad once the apartment starts clearing out by 7pm, but everyone thanks Ten for inviting them and they part with slightly awkward hugs. In the end, it's just Ten, Rain, Taeyong, Doyoung, Sicheng and Johnny who stay back to help clean up. Ten is a bit overwhelmed that he has a four year old that he kind of dazes off and is slow to take down the decorations, and no one says anything but let's him take everything in.

Rain had fallen asleep on the couch was his new blanket and teddy bear he's gotten from Johnny and Jennie, his toys scattered on the floor. Ten kind of gives up cleaning up, settling for sitting on the sofa next to a sleeping Rain and wanting to hold him but also not wanting to wake him up. But Rain shifts, and his eyes are opening.

"Hi, baby," Ten says softly as ruckus from the four others cleaning up could be heard. Rain sits up, not grumpy which is surprising. "Hi, daddy." He says, yawning and rubbing his eyes. Ten lifts Rain up and places the small boy onto his lap and holds him tight. His heart swells when Rain leans into the touch and he kisses the top of his head.

"Hey, Ten," Doyoung says, peeking into the living room. "I'm going to take Taeyong and Sicheng home, I'll come back and Johnny will take me home," Doyoung informs. "I mean, Johnny could drive all of us home, but Taeyong insisted it to be this way."

Of course. Typical Taeyong. At this point, Ten is not surprised so he doesn't deny.

"Great. Happy birthday, again, little Rainy," Doyoung says, eliciting a small giggle from the groggy boy. "Bye bye, Doyoungie!" Rain calls as Doyoung leaves. Ten sighs, holding Rain tighter before loosening his grip.

Once the door is closed, Ten speaks. "Hey, Rain. Do you want to see if there's left over cake?" He asks and Rain's eyes widen and he nods his head. "Yes! I hungry!" And then Rain is quick to escape Ten's hold and rush into the kitchen. Ten could hear Rain asking Johnny for cake, and he could hear Johnny's soft response. Ten sighs and closes his eyes.

Just then, his phone vibrates.

Ten pulls out his phone to see a text from Taeyong.

From: Taeyong Lee  
hey dude, forgot to say that i brought my laptop. your mom called this morning.

Ten feels his heart clench. He looks around the living room and spots it on the side table. He wonders how he missed it when he decorated the living room earlier today.

Ten sits on the sofa, pulling the laptop bag closer and zipping it open. He pulls out a HP laptop and slides the bag to the side and he places the electronic on the surface and opens it. The screen blinks before Skype loads. Ten feels a bit sad as he sees a missed call from 'mom leechai' at 9:23am. He clicks redial and his face appears on the screen.

He looks tired, the bags under his eyes prominent, but the call answers in the fourth ring and suddenly his image is small to the left and a woman appears on the screen who's smile is the exact replicate of Ten's.

"Hello, mom," Ten says in English. Ten's mom tenderly smiles, "Hi, my boy, I miss you, I hope you're doing well," She says and Ten feels a bit sad. "I-I miss you, too," Ten responds before beginning to speak in Thai (he didn't want Johnny to hear his conversation), "I see you called earlier. I was busy setting up for Rain's birthday, I'm sorry."

"That's alright, my love. I called to wish Rain a happy birthday, and to say that I'm sorry we couldn't be there," His mom responds back in Thai as well. Ten sadly shrugs. "It's okay, mommy. I came to LA knowing it was far away from you, but it didn't mean I don't miss you everyday," Ten responds, his mom smiles and Ten might cry. "You're an independant, strong man, Ten. You've made us proud moving to a new place to provide more for your son. You've got amazing friends helping you."

It takes a while for the Thai language to connect into sentences for Ten from not having speaking Thai with anyone else but Rain for the past four years, but Ten smiles even more once he understands. He loves his mom so much.

"Mommy, I miss you. I promise we'll come see you during holiday," Ten says and his mom nods. "That's fine by us, Ten. You're welcome home anytime you want."

Okay, Ten might actually cry.

"Now, where's the birthday boy?" His mom asks and Ten laughs meekly. "Right, sorry, mommy."

"Johnny? Can you bring Rain here?" Ten calls out, and suddenly his mom is all ears. "Johnny? Ooh, did my little boy find someone?" His mother teases, thankfully in Thai, and Ten splutters. "Mommy! It's not like that!"

The woman only laughs as Rain runs into the room with Johnny following. Rain screams when he sees his grandmother on the laptop screen.

"Grandma! Grandma!" Rain says, falling onto his knees in front of the laptop and smiling up at the woman who waves at him. "Hi, baby! Oh, you got so big!"

She says that in Thai, which Ten knows is a tester to see if he's used Thai with his son, to see if he's taught Rain Thai. Which, yes, he does, he speaks Thai to Rain a lot, Rain responds only sometimes, but he shocks Ten a bit when he calls back in Thai.

"Grandma! My birthday today! Decorations pretty!" Rain squeals in Thai. His mother looks impressed, despite it being a bit broken, but Ten grins proudly. Poor Johnny, he has no clue what's going on.

"I had help by Taeyong and Johnny, we got it done faster that way," Ten informs. Johnny perks up a bit at the mention of his name but he is unable to understand what Ten just said. His mom smiles. "Ah, that's nice of them."

"Happy birthday, Rain, sorry we couldn't be there and give you big hugs," Ten's mom says, and Rain pouts. "I want a hug! But don't worry! I hug daddy!"

The phone call between Rain and his grandma lasts ten minutes, most of it in Thai, which Rain finds a bit challenging but he does his best but can't help switching to English every so often. Ten watches the interaction fondly, unaware of Johnny watching him rather fondly.

 

 

  
**_ONE WEEK LATER_ **

  
Ten receives a text from an unknown number.

From: x-xxx-xxx-xxxx  
_Hey, Ten. It's Johnny. Are you free tonight?_

Ten is a bit confused. Rain is having a sleepover at Doyoung's house because his brother is there with his kids. He wonders if Taeyong knew about this and gave Johnny his number because he knew he'd be alone. Ten doesn't know whether to sob or be grateful.

To: x-xxx-xxx-xxxx  
_Um hey. Yeah I'm free tonight, what were you thinking?_

Ten mentally slaps himself because he was never good at texting people in general. Do people even ask what they were thinking as in what did they want to do? Ten shakes in nervousness as his phone buzzes.

From: x-xxx-xxx-xxxx  
_I was thinking about going to the bar? Not a club, so there won't be deafening music or numerous ppl. I understand if you say no_

Ten really does slap himself. Of course, Taeyong would suggest Johnny to suggest the bar. Since was now legal to drink and all. If Ten wasn't a father, he knew he'd be a sickening alcoholic. He probably would've killed himself long ago if he also wasn't a father. Rain deserves the best. But he couldn't deny that he had a stash of vodka in his bedroom and opened a bottle and drank after Rain went to bed just so he'd be able to sleep all night (he only did this at least twice a month, he wasn't that helpless), or that he jumped at every opportunity to get wasted as long as Rain was somewhere safe. It was kind of low for Taeyong to expose him to Johnny like this.

To: x-xxx-xxx-xxxx  
_I don't mind. Text me which bar, I'll meet you there in an hour_

Ten hated himself for caving in but hey, he was pathetic. It should be a part of his personality traits. But after receiving the text from Johnny about the address, which happened to be a bar just ten minutes away from his house, he went to his bedroom to get ready. He showered that morning, just because Doyoung and his brother was coming over to pick Rain up and he really didn't need Seungyoung pitying him much longer for being a dirty, depressed piece of shit. So Ten just slid on black jeans he saved purposely for bar and club attention (he never had hookups, but he did love attention from drunken men who'd by him drinks, so), and a white shirt with black stripes, and he topped it with his blue jean jacket.

Just because he was a borderline alcoholic didn't mean he couldn't be a fashionable alcoholic at that one (jokes).

Ten pocketed his wallet, his phone and put on his shoes. Since he still had a lot of time left, he decided to just walk. It was a half hour walk, and he didn't mind being early. So he set out into the night.

The temperature was bareable, not too hot or too cold. It was LA after all. The streets were filled with people looking to have a good time as much as Ten was, and as he got closer to the location, there seemed to be more people filling the streets. It was a seemingly short walk, but Ten arrived to the bar with five minutes to spare. He showed his ID to the man and was granted access.

The atmosphere was intantly changing from the awkward real world to great vibes as music played, some people chatted and danced, and Ten found a seat at the bar. He was surprised that not even a minute after sitting down there was a tap on his shoulder and a shadow sitting next to him.

Ten looked and saw Johnny, immediately settling down as he wasn't drunk enough for strangers to touch him.

"Hey," Johnny greeted, and Ten acknowledged him with a nod. "Hello," Johnny smiles, looking Ten up and down. "You look nice. Really different from a casual day," He says and Ten nervously laughs. "Aha, yeah. I always dress up when I go out." Ten admits. Just then the bartender comes over and attends them.

"Can I get two shots of vodka?" Ten asks, deciding that he should at least be nice enough to ger Johnny shitfaced as him. The bartender does just that and Johnny nudges his side with a chuckle. "You're not planning to get completely drunk that you wouldn't remember this night, are you?" He asks with an amused smile. Ten shrugs. "My motto goes like this, per see: "black out or back out". But just for tonight, I'll try to limit myself."

Johnny only laughs and Ten shrugs yet again when their shots are brought. He slides one of the glasses to Johnny and raises it up, clinking their glasses together before Ten downs the alcohol quickly, the burn strong in his throat as he forces it down.

 

_FIVE SHOTS LATER_

Ten could feel the buzz coming, but it's not strong enough. Johnny seems to be feeling the same, because instead of straight shots, he orders a vodka mix for him and Ten instead. It's blue with a small umbrella in it and Ten giggles, toying the paper umbrella as he clinks his glass with Johnny's.

Ten drinks the mix, tasting strong vodka, lemon, and something fruity. It's not a bad taste, but Ten pulls a face because he's never drank this before and Johnny laughs. "It's horrible for the first few drinks, but it gets the job done. I swear, when I turned 21, my friends gave me this and I got drunk off two of them. I'm not lying."

Ten finds himself laughing at Johnny's revelation, taking another gulp of his drink and pulling yet another face. "Dude, same. Like I turned 21 a couple weeks ago and Taeyong bought me a weird drink because I never drank anything besides vodka, and it got me messed up fast. Ugh," Ten laughs to himself, unable to process his words as his walls lower. "Really? Your birthday was a couple weeks ago? Happy belated birthday!" Johnny says, patting Ten on the back who nods and laughs.

 

_SEVEN SHOTS, THREE DRINKS LATER_

Ten could feel himself become woozy. He was already buzzed, but as he drunk his forth drink, his face began heating up and he needed to pee. They've been sitting at the bar for nearly two hours, drinking and sharing stories. Of course, Ten kept it PG because Johnny really didn't need to know about his fucked up mind just yet. He talks about the funny things Rain does, the stupid things Taeyong says, and how great of a friend Doyoung is.

But Ten's bladder is crying and so will he if he leaks all over the chair, so he excuses himself. Johnny is a bit confused, but Ten says he's going to the bathroom and Johnny nods in understanding.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Johnny asks, and there's no sexual implications behind his words but Ten finds himself shaking his head. Until he stands up, his vision blurs and his feet wobbles. He laughs as Johnny stands up and holds him up. "I guess you have to come." Ten says rather close to Johnny's ear, despite the height difference, as the taller boy chuckles. Together they walk to the bathroom, abandoning their unfinished drinks in their wake.

Ten loves bars more than pubs and clubs - bars are more chill and there's not a lot of people around, so they easily reach the bathroom with no one bumping into them or vice versa. Johnny lets Ten go and the shorter boy stumbles towards the urinals.

Johnny fixes his appearence, his hair messed up from constantly brushing his hair back with his hand, a drunken habit, and his face red from the alcohol consumption. When Ten is done his business, he comes towards Johnny and uses the faucet next to him to wash his hands.

"You know, when I first met you, I didn't think I'd feel comfortable. I'm quite an anxious person," Ten admits, not seeing the way Johnny nods in a way that shows that he knows. "It's terrible, my anxiety ruined a lot of potential relationships. But when I met you, I couldn't help but feel comfortable? I tried saying it was because of our location, my previous activities of playing with Rain giving me the adrenaline, but that just never seemed logical. So I thought maybe I was finally over coming a part of my anxiety? Maybe it was just you."

Ten dried his hands with paper towel and tossed it in the trash. He looked just a wrecked as Johnny did before he fixed his appearance. "My therapist says my anxiety levels are still the same, so I'm convinced it's just you. But I'd never tell you that," Ten admits, and Johnny feels a bit sad because he's been told by Taeyong himself that Ten had social anxiety and depression and that he sometimes sees a therapist, sometimes because he's never able to go because of being a single father and never having enough motivation to get out of bed. "It's weird 'cause we just met and all."

Ten sighs as he leans against the sinks, looking up at Johnny with an unfathomable expression.

"Can I say something?" Johnny asks, and Ten shrugs with a nod. "Um. Taeyong was really determined to get me to meet you, he kept showing me pictures of you and telling me a bunch of stories. It's really weird, because I never met you but I wanted to know more about you just from what I've heard?" Johnny admits and Ten can't tell if his red face is from embarrassment or the alcohol flowing through his veins. He can't help the hopeful twinge in his stomach when he hears this revelation also.

Ten doesn't say anything and neither does Johnny. They just stare at each other, the air quite thick, before Ten speaks up.

"Let's get back out there and dance." He suggests, and the mood is lifted back up as Johnny grins. They leave the bathroom together and go to the bar and order more drinks before going to the nearly empty dance floor. Only a few people are dancing, but Ten is too drunk to care as he dances quite silly next to Johnny who laughs.

It takes a while for Johnny to dance comfortably, Ten already lost in the music and glimmering lights, holding his vibrantly colored beverage in one hand as he uses the other to lure Johnny in ironically. After two songs, Johnny is also dancing freely and Ten laughs as they dance openly as if they're the only two people in the entire world.

Somewhere along the way, their sultry, silly dancing had become somewhat more intimate. Ten finds himself in front of Johnny, one hand rested on his shoulder, the other holding his nearly empty drink, and Johnny's hand is on his hip, his situation nearly similar to Ten's. This was as intimate as drunken dancing could get, and Ten wasn't really a mess like he'd thought he be so he let it happen despite reality coming to view.

Just then, Ten's phone buzzed in his pocket. He suddenly pulled away from Johnny and nearly tripped over his feet, only to be caught by the taller man and steadied. "Everything alright?" Johnny asks in a genuinely worried voice. Ten dismisses him. "It's 1am, I'm usually home at this time. N-not to mention - Rain, he'll be coming home early," Ten finds himself stumbling over his words as he avoids looking at Johnny. "Ten, calm down. I understand. Do you need an Uber?"

Ten shakes his head. He will usually walk home if it's a near by bar just to sober up a bit. "I walk," He admits, and Johnny is silent for a bit. "Okay, but you can't walk alone. Do you want me to come with you?" Johnny asks and Ten doesn't have to think twice before he nods. Johnny looks relieved and together they leave the bar after finishing the rest of their drinks.

Ten can't help but attach himself to Johnny's side, the latter wrapping his arms around his shoulders, as they begin their drunken journey back to Ten's apartment.

It's filled mostly with drunken babble, laughter, and nearly tripping a lot of times, along with breaking the traffic law but hey, there's not a lot of cars driving around. Ten finds himself a bit upset the closer they get to his apartment, that when they reach the building, he's shouting out before thinking. "Come in with me," He says, looking up at Johnny. "I might fall down the stairs," He giggles at this remark and Johnny chuckles before adding, "Then I'll be at risk for falling down the stairs when I take you up and come back down."

"Sleepover? You can sleep in my bed, I can take Rain's bed." Ten suggests, and Johnny shrugs with a confirmation so Ten grins and leads them both into the building. Ten kind of hates that he lives on the fourth floor, because Johnny is basically pulling him up the stairs as he heaves and whines.

But they reach the fourth floor and Ten couldn't be happier as he walks to his door. There's only two rooms per floor, and Ten's room is number six. He unlocks his door after missing the keyhole multiple times and giggling as an equally giggly Johnny has to help yet again.

Ten can't help but turn around and hug him, "Thanks, you're the best," He says into Johnny's chest, earning a hug back and a pat on the back with even more giggles. "I only try." Johnny says, equally sarcastic as Ten laughs and pulls away. They walk into the dark apartment together, Ten closing the door behind them and taking off his shoes.

"I'm kind of hungry, but I don't want to burn down this entire complex," Ten says, and Johnny laughs. "Same." He quips and Ten hits him as he stumbles past and heads to his bedroom. Johnny is following and Ten opens his dresser, Johnny flicks on the lamp on the bedside.

Ten usually doesn't sleep in pajamas, but since he has a guest over, he should at least be a bit modest. He gets spooked when Johnny comes beside him.

"Hm, plaid pajama pants? How old are you again?" Johnny quips and Ten laughs, his vision twisted as he shakes his head. "Stop teasing my grandpa pajamas. I usually wear underwear but you're here," Ten finds himself revealing and Johnny laughs. "Dude, I don't care. I'm tired, just wear whatever you want, I won't judge you, only if you're wearing those hideous pants."

So Ten decides to not wear pajamas and instead heads to Rain's room when Johnny gets comfortable on his bed. Rain's room is a bit messy with toys, but Ten suffices as he goes towards Rains single bed and plops down on the edge. He strips himself of his jeans, hesitating on his shirt before he remembers this room has no AC and it's always hot in here, because Rain liked it like that. So he strips down to his boxers and sits on the edge of the bed, hating the unfamiliarity of the place.

Rain usually slept with him in his room, so it was kind of odd being in his room, especially with the intention to sleep. Ten was always lonely for Rain whenever he spent the night places, and being drunk, he couldn't help the immense sadness that washed over him. He doesn't know how long he's been sitting until he realized tears were streaming down his face and he wiped at them pathetically.

God, there was never a night where he was drunk and didn't cry. Even sober, he found himself wallowed in dumb emotions a lot.

He stood up suddenly, picking up his discarded clothes, and walked to his bedroom. It was dark in his room, but when he dropped his clothes on the ground and walked over to the bed, Johnny was turning around. "Ten?"

Ten sniffles in reply, climbing into bed and wrapping the blanket around himself. "What's wrong?" Johnny asks, moving closer to Ten who relishes in the warmth of another person. Ten notes that Johnny isn't wearing pants but is thankfully wearing a shirt. "Nothing. I just cry when I'm drunk." Ten weakly chuckles, though a sniffle cuts through and he starts sobbing again. Johnny is quick to reach over and console the crying boy by gently patting and rubbing his back, shushing him and whispering words he thinks might help calm him down.

After a while of sobbing and calming down, Ten is hiccuping.

"Sometimes," Ten begins, and Johnny is all ears so he continues. "I feel like a bad father. Rain deserves someone who actually plays with him, I can barely because I'm always having an episode or sleeping. I can barely cook dinner for him, or take him places like the park or to check ups. Going in public takes a lot, but I go and take Rain because I want to try to give him the childhood he deserves. He doesn't deserve to be cooped up in an apartment with nothing to do because his dad is a depressed shit. I really do try. Going to the store is hard, but I go because we need food. I go only once a month, and Rain says he's hungry all the time because he can only eat so much bananas and apples. Sometimes I want him to know that daddy didn't eat anything for three days, but I would hate to tell him that. I can't compare us like that; he's only a child. The birthday party took a lot of my energy but I did it because Rain deserves the best. I need to give him the best.

"Sometimes I wish May didn't leave. Our lives would be so different. Rain would have a mother who would take better care of him then I could ever," The mention of Rain's mother has Johnny leaning in more. No one ever mentioned Rain's mother to him despite his curiosity, not even Taeyong. "But after Rain was born, she abandoned us and moved back to Thailand. I don't hate her. I could never. I just wished she was more sympathetic. She knew I wasn't fit to be a single parent, but I made sure I could provide all I could to my son. I dropped out of high school, but I went back when Rain was one and graduated." Ten begins to incoherently mumble, sleep seeping into his bones as Johnny continues rubbing his bare side.

"It's been four years since Rain was born, though, and those four years really made me get my shit together. I still suck ass at parenting, but I'm getting better, and I'm so happy Rain is so patient with me." Ten begins to sniffle but he stops himself from crying. He moves closer to Johnny who accepts him and brings him into his arms. Ten lays his head on Johnny's arm, inhaling the scent of his shirt before biting his lip to prevent any embarrassing sounds to escape. His bare body is pressed against Johnny's clothed one but he's too drunk to be a bit disturbed.

"I know you're a great parent, Ten. From what Taeyong told me and trust me, he's told me a lot about you, you're an amazing parent. As long as Rain has a place to call home and a parent who loves him, you're the best parent. It's... It's okay to need help," Johnny says and Ten nods. "And you have Taeyong... Doyoung... Me... You have friends who are willing to help you, it's okay to ask. You're only human, you have feelings. I can't sympathise, not by a mile, but I also won't pity you. I'll be by your side."

Ten doesn't know what he hates more: his parenting, his depression, or drunken promises. Promises while drunk usually aren't fulfilled, and Ten is guilty of having his own drunken promises made to other people, but he can't help but be disappointed when whoever promises him forget the next morning. But he lets it slide because he's also drunk.

 

 

_**THE NEXT DAY** _

  
Ten wakes up to knocking on the door. He shoots out of bed, ignoring the groan of the person beside him as he hops off the bed and look for his clothes. For some reason, he can't find them even though he's sure he's brought them into his bedroom that night. His sleep-filled head clouds over as he picks up a random grey t shirt from the ground that is definitely two sizes too big for his but he can't be bothered to care as he races to answer the door.

Ten unlocks his door and opens it, the brightness blinding as he steps aside to let in Doyoung, Taeyong, and Rain. He yawn and scratches his head, looking at the time from the clock on the wall, eyes nearly bulging out of his head when he saw it was past noon. He gives Rain a big hug, despite his pounding forehead, and then he turns to face his friends as Rain runs off to play with his new toy he got from Doyoung, probably.

Taeyong is looking him up and down with a knowing smirk. "Looks like you had fun last night," He says and Ten rolls his eyes, suddenly self conscious of the prying eyes. "It's not what you think." Ten attempts to say, but just then his bedroom door opens and a hungover, sleepy, bed-headed Johnny Seo emerges from his room, thankfully wearing pants but for some reason is shirtless, and goes into the bathroom, the door closing with a gentle shut. Ten looks back at his friends, ready to explain, but they both look scandalized and shocked.

"Ten! You did not! Oh my god!" Taeyong shouts in a whisper, even Doyoung looks surprised. Ten is flustered as he shakes his head, "It's not what you think."

"Right! This'll be just between us. Oh my god, Ten! Mr. 'I don't hook up on the first date'!" Taeyong whispered excitedly. "Stop! Please!" Ten pleads, earning laughter from Doyoung and Taeyong. "Okay, we'll leave now, have fun with your new man." Taeyong winks and he pushes himself and Doyoung out of the apartment and shuts the door. Ten could hear the laughter and screeching of Doyoung and Taeyong from the staircase.

Ten shakes his head before attending Rain who sat on the floor, playing with his action figures. "Are you hungry?" Ten asks the small boy, attempting to distract himself from his idiot friends. Rain looks up and shakes his head. "Youngie gave me ice cream! Tasty!" Rain says and Ten nods. Of course, Doyoung would take Rain out for ice cream, bless his soul! "Okay. But when you get hungry, just come to my room and we'll order a pizza, okay?" Ten says and Rain's eyes widen. "Pizza?"

Ten laughs, leaning down to give the boy a big, long hug because damnit, he missed Rain. "Yeah. I missed you so I'll order pizza because now you're home!" Ten says and Rain claps with an excited shout.

After a while, Ten is walking back to his bedroom, reality crashing in as he falls onto his bed. He could feel himself slipping into easy sleep when the bed tilts and he pops open an eye. Johnny looks a bit torn.

"Dude, just sleep. I know you're hungover because I am. I'm ordering pizza for dinner, you can stay if you want," Ten mutters before slipping his eyes closed once more and digging his face deeper into his pillow. "Rain will be fine. Sometimes I think he know I'm hungover because he always plays so quietly." Ten murmurs into the pillow. Johnny is silent as he falls back into the bed with a heavy sigh.

"Also, I do know I'm wearing your shirt. Kind of figured when I realized it went up to my knees. Sorry. I ain't moving though," Ten says, shivering when he hears Johnny's croaky morning laugh. "It's okay. I'll get it back soon enough." Ten nearly gets goosebumps at the sound of how deep and raspy Johnny's morning voice is but he keeps his cool and nods as he forces himself to fall back asleep.

It doesn't take long, and Ten totally feels the bed shift before an arm is draping around his back and Johnny is so much closer to him. Ten sighs, falling asleep instantly.

 

 

_**TWO DAYS LATER** _

  
"You saw it wrong the first time, Taeyong," Ten says for what seems to be the hundredth time. Who knew that innocently having a sleepover with another grown male has so many accusations coming with it? Taeyong looks suspiciously coy as he sips his Orange Julius banana strawberry smoothie. "You know, he's never going to give up."

Ten looks at Sicheng where he's sitting across of Rain, playing action figures together as Doyoung and Haechan sit on the table next to them. Ah, mall food court tables and their four seats only. "Well shit. He's prying at a dead end." Ten rolls his eyes (mentally, because Ten doesn't know how to do such action dramatically).

"I'm not! I'm actually pretty certain you guys are going to end up together," Taeyong says, leaning over the table so he's closer to Ten. "There's nothing wrong with actually dating someone I set you up with, Ten!"

Ten clicks his tongue and Rain kills Sicheng who groans dramatically, earning laughter from the small boy. Doyoung looks over, and oh yes, he's going to shut down Taeyong and stay on Ten's side. Ten can always trust Doyoung.

"I agree."

Nevermind. Ten wonders what he should do after losing a close friend.

"I suddenly can't read," Ten stabs into his salad that Doyoung generously bought for him because it'll be the closest thing of Doyoung that he could stab without going to jail. Taeyong snorts. "Why do you guys hate me so much." It's more of a statement then a question and Doyoung laughs.

"Stop being dramatic," He says and Ten shrugs. "Dramatic is literally part of my personality traits," He quips but it doesn't get much recognition because Doyoung is speaking yet again. "Even if you guys didn't, excuse me, fuck - I still think there's a possibility you guys won't ever not."

Ten's face heats up and he spits in the salad and closes the lid. Sicheng and Haechan are amused.

"Okay fine. I can admit that there's a slight possibility at that, but we also cannot deny that I won't fuck it up somehow because of the type of person I am," Ten says, and Taeyong is grinning. "Wow, you actually admit to being attracted to someone!"

"I also can't say any words of comfort like 'oh, Ten! You won't fuck it up, just stay positive and think about the happiness Johnny gives you!' because we all know that's bullshit," Doyoung says, and Ten is grateful because at least he's not the only one who thinks the same. But the implication that Johnny makes Ten happy makes his face heat up yet again despite it only being used as a shitty example.

Taeyong suddenly flails like a fainting maiden. "Oh, Ten! You won't fuck up! Just stay! Positive! And think about the happiness! Johnny! Gives you!"

Ten wonders if it's too late to get new friends asap.

 

 

_**TWO DAYS LATER** _

  
Apparently Eunji, Seungyoung's daughter, has just getting over a cold when Rain went to sleepover. Apparently the kids traded ice creams without the adults noticing until it was too late. Apparently Rain was dying.

Not literally.

But a sick three year old is the epitome of death. Rain becomes in an incoherent, sobbing, clingy mess, and though Ten could relate 100 percent, it's honestly making him miserable. Rain is barely sick, he has a strong system, but on the rare occasions when he does, it's madness. Not too much where he has to go to the emergency room, but he becomes way too much for Ten to handle without having a little breakdown of his own.

Which Ten has had the equivalent of his name in less than two days.

But it's 7pm, Ten should be having his daily nap or maybe overeating his feelings, but instead he's rocking an angry toddler in his kitchen, nearly having yet another mental breakdown as he walks back and fourth and Rain sniffles in his neck. He just recovered from his third breakdown that day because he didn't want to eat, and though Ten wanted him to eat, he couldn't force him to.

According to Rain, he has a major headache, a sore stomach, a runny nose and achy bones. Typical fever symptoms. Usually when Ten was sick, be was bedridden and silently wept, Rain was the exact opposite. He demanded to be held and cried through his misery. Nights were a lot harder, but Rain seemed to be getting a bit better than yesterday so Ten hoped he could have a peaceful night.

His phone was abandoned in his bedroom, it was vibrating all day but Ten had other things to focus on. He assumed it was just Taeyong and Taeil exchanging memes in the group chat, so he didn't bother to even check.

Rain sniffles softly, lifting his head up and Ten halts his footsteps.

"Rain? Are you okay?" Ten asks softly. Rain shakes his head, eyes puffy and nose snotty. "Sleep," Rain says, voice scratchy from his crying earlier. "Sleep? Okay then, sleep. Don't worry, I'll be here."

Rain shakes his head, a single tear rolling down his face. "Can't sleep," He cries, and Ten feels his heart wrench as he holds Rain tighter and begins rocking him again. "Don't cry, Rain. I know I should've got more medicine since it's flu season, but I promise to ask uncle Taeyong to get some and bring it so you will be able to sleep and feel better."

Rain just sniffles a response and Ten frowns. He should've thought about restocking on Tylenol, but he didn't really think about it until it was too late.

Then, there's a knock on the door. It's light so Rain doesn't do much as flinch, and Ten wonders who it is as he walks to the door with a fussy, sleepy, sick toddler in his arms. He carefully opens the door, careful not to jolt Rain as he comes to contact with none other than Johnny.

"Johnny? What are you doing here?" Ten asks, a bit confused but he can't deny he's pleasantly surprised. "I don't think now's a good time," He says instead and Johnny holds a hand up to silence him. "That's exactly why I'm here. I've been informed that Rain is sick and you're miserable because you don't got any medicine, and since you haven't asked for help yet, I'm here."

Ten feels his stomach tighten as he softly smiles. Johnny holds up the small plastic bag and through the material Ten could see kids Tylenol.

"Come in," Ten says, stepping aside and Johnny does just that. Ten closes the door and leads Johnny back into the kitchen, but then his focus is going on Rain. "Rain? Baby? I have medicine here, do you want it?"

Of course, Rain shakes his head.

"It'll make you feel better. And sleep."

Then, very hesitantly, Rain is nodding.

"Ah, good boy." Ten praises, then setting Rain down on the counter who whines but thankfully does not cry. The box is being put into Ten's hand before he could turn to ask for it, and he smiles gratefully before opening the box and pulling out the bottle, struggling at first to open the new product but does eventually.

Ten gives Rain the proper amount, and he watches his son cringe in disgust.

"See? You'll feel better soon now." Ten says, reaching up to ruffle Rain hair who looks at him with teary eyes and lifts his hands up to be held. Ten's muscles cry out, he's been holding a 26 pound toddler all day for two days.

"Here, I'll take him." Johnny says as he boots Ten aside, who can't be bothered to say no and probably wouldn't have if it was anyone in general, and he's surprised when Rain doesn't seem to care about a practical stranger picking him up. Ten's heart swell at the sight when Rain is quick to wrap his arms around Johnny's neck and stuffing his face in his neck as he's done to Ten for the past days.

Ten thinks he should stop doting at the cute sight, he gently reaches up to pat Rain in comforting way before turning away. "He should fall asleep soon. He'll be good in his room now, he usually sleeps all night after he's taken medicine," Ten says, his voice the only sound in the entire apartment. "My arms are crying right now, and if you don't mind, I'm going to go into my room and cry with them."

Johnny snickers, rocking Rain gently as Ten walks around them to exit the kitchen. Not before awkwardly giving Johnny a weird side hug that's totally one sided (because how could Johnny hug back when he's holding a child?) before saying "Thanks for saving my life." and then exiting.

Ten can't tell if it's lack of sleep that made him a bit woozy to do that, but he can't be bothered to regret it right now even though he probably will in the morning as he leaves Rain and Johnny in the kitchen and escapes to his bedroom. Ten falls into his bed with a sigh, his eyes immediately shutting closed.

Ten can't tell if he actually fell asleep or if Rain was taken care of very fast, because when he feels his bed shift, he open his eyes weakly and could see the blurry silhouette of Johnny looking down at him.

"Man, sorry for just abandoning you like that. But I nearly wanted to drop from exhaustion," Ten yawns, rolling over on his bed so he was on his back. He stretches a few joints and Johnny shrugs. "No problem, like I said, I'll always be here to help." He says with sincerity and Ten hides under his blanket to hide his flaming face.

The implication of their drunken promises wash up on Ten and he's suddenly wondering how he deserved Johnny in his life. No one ever keeps promises they made on the borderline of blacking out.

"Yeah, yeah. Thanks again," Ten mutters as he sighs from the contentment of the moment. He's so tired. "Do you want me to leave? I mean, I came by to help because we figured you were struggling a bit."

Ten doesn't open his eyes. He thinks it'll be best for Johnny to leave because he's not up to do anything but sleep despite the early time, but he also doesn't care if he stays or not. Maybe Rain will wake up in the middle of the night, he'll be able to hold Johnny's words against him and force him to take care of his sick son while he soaked up a few hours of sleep at least.

Wow. Being a father truly is tiring.

"Doesn't matter to me. I'm sleeping, you can stay or whatever." Ten says with yet another yawn as he turns over and curls into a ball, his back facing Johnny. It stays silent for a very long time and Ten doesn't hesitate to relax further into his bed and finally shut his brain off.

 

 

**_THE NEXT MORNING_ **

  
Ten wakes up with yet another startled jolt. Surprisingly, he's alone. His bed messy and empty, he's laying nearly across the damn thing and there's drool at the corner of his mouth. God, that was probably the best sleep he's ever had in a really long time. He notices his arms have lines and indents from laying on them.

Ten sits up on the bed, wiping his drool with his hand as he scratches his head and yawns. He forces himself out of bed and walks out of his room. He's suddenly aware of how eerily quiet his apartment is. Curiously, he walks to Rain's bedroom and peers in through the half open door.

It's empty.

He pushes the door open. "Rain?"

Silence.

Ten begins to panic a bit. He rushes to the living room where Rain usually is during the day, but he's met with nothing and he's confused and a bit scared as he goes to the kitchen. It's also empty.

"Rain? Come here, please, where are you?" Ten shouts, going to the bathroom and looking inside the empty room. Okay, he's seriously freaking out now. There's literally nowhere else for Rain to be; he's smart enough to never open the door for strangers and the windows can barely open wide enough for fresh air to come in.

Ten looks at the clock and his eyes nearly pop out of his head as he sees it's after 2pm. What does this even mean?

Rain is nowhere to be found and it's his fault because he was so deep in sleep he couldn't hear his son be kidnapped. Ten nearly falls to the ground running back to his bedroom. He grabs his phone from the desk and ignores the multiple texts as he walks back into the kitchen and opens the phone app. Just as he's frantically dialing Doyoung's number, his front door opens.

He nearly drops his phone rushing to see who it is and he almost trips yet again when Rain runs inside with a smile on his face.

"Daddy!" Rain laughs, running into Ten's arms who swoops him up. "Oh my god, oh my god," Ten gasps, the tension hurting his muscles as he lifts Rain up and holds him tightly. "Oh my god."

"Yo dude, what's wrong?" Taeyong asks as he and Johnny stand a few feet back from the sight. Ten avoids their eyes and carries Rain to his bedroom instead. He can't be a vulnerable mess in front of his friends (not that he's never been! But he still has a bit dignity left and having a potential breakdown in front of his friends, especially Johnny for that matter, would really shatter the last few pieces).

"Rain, where'd you go?" Ten asks as he sets the little boy on his bed and sits next to him. Rain smiles up at him. "McDonalds! You sleepin' long and couldn't come," Rain frowned before his face lit up again. "I got a toy! Uncle Taeyong have it, it little Pooh bear!"

Ten couldn't help but smile sadly at his son's happiness and excitement. "Ah. I thought you were gone, I woke up alone and that was pretty scary. I should've been more logical though, shouldn't have I? I didn't think right and I overreacted," Ten is speaking more to himself now, but Rain shakes his head. "No hate yourself. Daddy smart, daddy was scared Rain gone forever, daddy is sad and it okay."

Ten is stumped for a few seconds as Rain toes off his shoes and they fall to the ground with small thumps.

"Can you tell me how you're three?" Ten is completely surprised at Rain's response, his knowledge and intellegence at such a young age. It was almost impossible and Ten wondered if he didn't just make the words up in his head. Rain giggles though, standing up on the bed and jumping on Ten who groans playfully and falls back onto the mattress, earning a shrieking laugh from Rain.

"Woah, someone's feeling a lot better, huh?" Ten asks and Rain repeatedly jumps. "Uh huh! Sick tiny bit but I'm better!" Rain says, his throat raspy from the soreness a sign that he was still in fact sick but definitely not as much as yesterday.

  
Rain falls asleep after playing with Ten, his small body tuckered out from today's activities. Ten wants to lay with him longer, wants to hold his baby boy closer, but unfortunately his bladder is yelling at him. So very slowly he gets out of bed, careful not to wake up Rain as he leaves his bedroom.

He thinks Taeyong and Johnny had left since he's basically pushed them away and hid away in his bedroom from embarrassment, but when he comes out of the bathroom after emptying his bladder, he's quite surprised to see Johnny here alone.

"Huh, I thought you left," Ten says as he walks over to the living room where Johnny sits alone on the sofa. He looks up from where he was previously on his phone. "If you want me to leave, I can." Johnny says like it was so simple, because it was. Ten awkwardly stands at the entrance, knowing he looked like he rolled straight out of bed, because he did.

"It's up to you," Ten says. He wonders how often he's said this to Johnny in the time they've been friends, how often Johnny had to make a decision to stay or not. "Stop saying that," Johnny says, looking a bit exasperated. Ten shrugs, "I don't know what I'm supposed to say without being rude!"

"Just say leave or stay, it's not that hard. I swear, I might get cardiac arrest making the decision on my own," Johnny says. Ten clicks his tongue. "I really don't know what to say, either."

"Do you want me to stay or leave?"

Ten is silent. He stands awkwardly and fidgets with the sleeves of his long sleeved shirt he's wearing as he becomes flustered. He didn't mind if Johnny stayed, just like he didn't mind if Taeyong or Doyoung stayed because they were friends and friends were always welcomed, but for some reason it felt different with the taller boy. Ten shrugged, hating himself for being so wimpy.

"Stay, I guess."

Johnny looked rather pleased and Ten just wanted to slap those chubby cheeks and never speak to him again because no one has ever looked so cute grinning like an idiot.

Though the air was a bit tense from Ten's earlier debacle, he was grateful Johnny never brought it up because it was a memory he was in the process of throwing out of his mind.

 

 

_**FOUR DAYS LATER** _

  
Ten never understood how important a person could be for him until Rain was born. The baby boy was born March 20 here in LA. It was spring, but LA never really had weather other than hot and humid, but on that March evening, it rained just a tiny bit. It was barely enough to classify as rainfall, but the little drops on the fourth floor of the hospital window had Ten feeling calm as his unnamed, newborn baby slept.

May was holding him, but she knew she wouldn't be able to care for him. It didn't mean she loved him less. It didn't mean she didn't love the two men surrounding her. She was just unable to care for a child and Ten understood.

"Let's name him Rain," May had suggested after a long stretch of silence. Ten had accepted that he would raise his son on his own and May would go back to Thailand for school, but he knew it was because her parents were against the idea of their 16 year old daughter raising a child. "It rained for the first time in months, so it must mean something." That was her logic. She was convinced Rain was special because he was born on the first day of spring and it rained. Ten couldn't deny her so they named him Rain.

Ten couldn't deny that Rain was special, too.

Since he was a baby, Ten had taken care of Rain. Even if it wasn't the best parenting, Rain gave Ten purpose to continue each day. He couldn't give up on his son after his mother left, he couldn't bare the thought of his son going through orphanages or foster homes, Rain didn't deserve to be put into a system like that. So Ten continued living despite his mentality being fucked up, despite believing he didn't have a purpose and that he just wanted to die.

Rain made Ten become somewhat a better man himself. He made Ten pick up his shit and fight harder then just let every day happen, and Ten is so grateful for Rain coming into his life.

Rain had saved Ten's life, and he'll repay his son with utmost love.

 

 

**_TWO DAYS LATER_ **

  
Ten is surprised to be invited to Johnny's apartment. He's never been to another person's apartment except for Taeyong and Doyoung, with the exception of Jennie from next door because, well, it was basically the same house as Ten's. Johnny had said Yuta was leaving for a few days for a family visit, so they could stay as long as they like. Ten didn't know what that implication meant, but it didn't stop him from packing an overnight bag for Rain just in case.

And by 5pm, Ten and Rain were picked up by Johnny himself.

"Greetings, Leechai's," Johnny greeted when Ten opened the car door and let Rain enter first. "Hi, Johnny! Daddy say we having sleepover at your house!" Rain says and Ten flushes because Rain wasn't supposed to say that. Ten enters the backseat with Rain because a booster seat apparently is non existent and Ten needs to make sure Rain is safe. "Really? That's great."

Johnny looks at Ten through the rearview mirror who looks away, flushing as he distracts himself by adjusting Rain's seatbelt. The car ride is rather silent, music coming through the speakers as Rain admires the view of being in a car, which was rare but always so fun for him.

They arrive to Johnny's apartment, which was a lot nicer and bigger than Ten's apartment building and he tried not to feel envious as he led Rain out of the car. Johnny led the way, passing through the lobby before pressing the elevator button. Ten clicked his tongue. His apartment building elevator has broken down long before he moved in and it still never got fixed.

"Daddy! I've never been here before!" Rain screeched as they entered the elevator. Ten held tighter onto Rain's hand as Johnny pressed the 10th floor button. There were 11 floors in total and Ten was jealous. Of course a person like Johnny would be this type of person: nice apartments, nice clothes, nice body, nice personality. Everything of Ten's was trash, except for Rain who deserved everything nice like Johnny.

When they arrived to the right floor after a shockingly comfortable silence, Johnny led them to the door on the right. The only thing similar about his and Johnny's apartment were the two apartments on each level. But when Johnny unlocked the door he kind of gasped.

Of course, nice, big apartment buildings would have nice, big rooms. When you walk into Johnny's apartment, you start in the kitchen. It was big and spacious, marble countertops and scratchless cupboards. The floors were hardwood and Ten felt excited and envious.

"Um, there's only two bedrooms. You two can sleep on my bed and I can take Yuta's," Johnny says as he takes off his coat and Ten does the same. "Okay, thanks." Ten stutters, the urge to see the rest of the apartment very real. Thankfully, Rain also seems excited about the new apartment as his eyes are double the size.

"I'm going to the bathroom, just make yourself comfortable," Johnny says, patting Ten on the shoulder with a gentle grin before retreating out of the kitchen. Ten helps Rain take off his jacket and backpack and hangs both items up before taking Rain by the hand and walking out of the kitchen. There's a hallway with one door across the kitchen, three on the far end, and one on the other end. Across is the living room so Ten goes there.

The living room is big, a black L shaped couch against the wall, a glass coffee table, a large bookcase filled with various items such as DVDs, CDs, merchandise, and actual books, there's a flatscreen TV that draws Rain's attention, and across the living room seems to be a study area. There's a desk with a PC, a desk lamp, and an office chair. The living room window is big, the curtains open to show off the view of LA and the faint coastline of the nearest beach. There's various picture frames on the walls of abstract art and personal photographs.

Rain runs to the window, pressing his face up against it. "Wow, daddy! We're so high! Is this really a home?" Rain gasps, and Ten moves to the window to look out as well. He's never been so high up before, the highest was his apartment level, so it's pretty amazing to see everything much smaller and the sky much wider. There's a faint pink color to the sky and Ten hums. "This is really pretty, isn't it?" Ten asks Rain, who nods vigorously

"Ah, I know this apartment is pretty grand for an apartment, but it was the only available apartment in our price range when we moved out here by ourselves," Johnny says from behind, spooking Ten just a bit who turns back. Johnny is standing at the entrance, looking a bit amazed and Ten turns back around to the view. "We plan to move into separate apartments, Yuta and I. After our contract ends, which is in October."

Ten is a bit surprised. "Really? If I lived here, I would never move out," He says and Johnny moves closer until he's leaning against the wall next to the window. "I say that, too, but I can't pay $3,200 rent by myself," Johnny says and Ten nearly throws up. "Dude, what? Are you serious? I only pay $500, but then again this is beautiful and mine is the trashcan."

"Yours is cute and homey. Mine is too big and unessecary. I'm thinking of getting a real house," Johnny says and Ten looks down at his hands. Getting his own house instead of an apartment is something he's always wanted to do. Maybe not in LA, but somewhere he could humbly raise Rain. "I'm also planning to move to San Fransisco. It's not over populated as LA, still a lot of people, but not crazy like this."

Rain moves away from the window and his attention is brought on the TV. "Can I watch Pooh?" Rain asks, looking up at Johnny who grins. "Sure. We have Netflix so you can watch as many episodes as you want." Rain's eyes widen and he grins big. Ten narrows his eyes at Johnny but doesn't say anything as Johnny sets it up. Ten decides to explore more.

He walks down the hallway and opens the first door softly. He's met with a clean bedroom and photographs of an unfamiliar face. The bedroom is bigger than Ten's, of course, but he's also surprised to see Japanese captions written on the photographs. When he walks more into the bedroom, he sees a desk filled with letters written in Japanese and he nearly forgets that Johnny's roommate is named Yuta Nakamoto - he should've know he was Japanese. He quietly exits the bedroom and goes to the one right beside it.

This bedroom is slightly messy, but still clean. It's a bit dark because the curtains are drawn, but Ten could make out all of the objects. He's drawn to a small framed photograph on the nightstand: it's a picture of Johnny when he was much younger with a woman who Ten assumed to be his mother. They were at a beach and Ten found himself softly smiling as he stood back and looked around the rest of the room.

"Hey," A voice said, causing Ten to jump and spin around as Johnny stood at the door. "Uh, I was just looking, not touching, I swear," Ten stutters and Johnny laughs. "It's okay, I don't mind. Can't deny I didn't do the same to your bedroom." Johnny grins mischeviously and Ten flushes even more.

"Is that your mom?" Ten asks before he could stop himself, and Johnny looks at the picture on his night stand before hesitantly nodding. Ten could tell the air suddenly got tense but he can't stop himself from asking more questions. "What is she like?"

There's silence.

"She's dead."

Oh.

Ten suddenly regrets asking as Johnny's expression tightens. "I'm sorry." He mutters, feeling embarrassed for himself and sorry for Johnny. Johnny shakes his head. "Don't. You didn't know, you were just curious."

Ten can't tell if Johnny is still upset or not, his emotions and tones are well hidden. He's scared to overstep his boundaries and get kicked out and never speak to Johnny again.

"M-my parents live in Thailand," Ten says just to ease the tension and distract Johnny. "They say they're going to visit us for my birthday, for Rain's birthday, during the holidays, but they never. I wonder if it's because paying for my apartment and phone bill is taking a toll on their financial income. I hate how I'm unable to support myself." Ten wonders why he's getting emotional.

"My parents still take care of me, they send me $1,000 every month with their hard earned money. I will repay them and visit them one day," Ten moves to sit on the bed. Suddenly standing is hard, he wants to lay in bed. Johnny comes over and sits beside him. "Wow, okay, I'm sorry. I just tried to distract you from what I said and suddenly I have the urge to fucking stay in bed and never get out." Ten laughs ironically.

Johnny is silent and Ten worries for a moment. "Are you okay?" He asks and Ten is a bit taken a back. "Are you seriously asking me that? No, fuck, I'm not okay. You know I'm a depressed piece of shit, let me hate myself in peace, thanks," Ten spats. He didn't mean to respond with anger but it's too late to turn back. "Sorry, I just hate hearing you say stuff like that. I hate the way you hate yourself."

"Thanks. I'm cured of my depression."

  
_A FEW HOURS LATER_

Ten is sitting on the weird L sofa with Johnny and Rain, who is close to falling asleep as Winnie the Pooh plays its twentieth episode and Ten might kill himself. It's after the next episode that Rain does fall asleep, just after 9pm.

"I should put him to bed," Ten says, standing up and very gently lifting Rain up, who flinches and attaches himself to Ten. He takes Rain to Johnny's bedroom, the little boy not crying out when Ten places him gently on the bed and lifts the blanket up and covers him. Ten places a small kiss on Rains forehead. "I love you forever. Sleep well." Ten whispers as he begins to exit the bedroom.

When he arrives back to the living room, it is void of Johnny and Ten hears glasses clinking in the kitchen. Ten walks over and sees Johnny's back facing him, so he walks over and attempts to peer over his shoulder, but he's only able to look around his bicep. Curse tall people.

Ten sees Johnny pouring wine in a glass and he laughs. "Wine? Are you serious?" He asks and Johnny shrugs. "Hey! It's not that good but it takes a while to get drunk, it's perfect for a night like this."

Johnny ends up pouring Ten a glass as well, and he takes it with no hesitation. Instead of leaving the wine bottle, Johnny takes it with him and they go back into the living room.

"I'm picking a movie." Ten says, snatching the remote before Johnny could protest. He scrolls through the hundreds of movies, debating weather he should choose horror or a romantic comedy. In the end, he chooses World War Z which isn't any of the options he debated over. He sits back and takes a sip of the wine, looking over at Johnny who was looking at the TV.

Johnny raises an eyebrow and Ten does the same. They stare at each other and Ten is the first to break it by looking back at the TV and sinking more into the cushions.

  
_FOUR GLASSES OF WINE LATER_

  
Ten felt tingly. He's never drank wine before so he can't tell if he's buzzed off of it or just very warm. Johnny gets into the movie and binge drinks as Ten leans into the cushions of the TV. The sun had went down and the sky was a deep violet, the city lights pouring through the window as the two men exchanged opinions about the movie and drank wine.

The bottle was nearly empty, but Ten was sure he was done drinking for tonight as his senses wavered just a bit. He couldn't be drunk with his son in the house so he figured this will be his last glass as he leaned sideways. Johnny was sitting right in the curve of the L couch, Ten was left sitting off to the side.

The movie was nearly over and both boys were frustrated about the entire thing. Ten moved to straighten up and as he did he suddenly realized how woozy everything actually became as he stumbled just a bit and fell back onto the couch. Johnny laughed.

"Dude, chill. Wine drunk is probably the most white type of drunk you could get," He said and Ten laughs. God, he feels kind of content right now. Not drunk, slightly buzzed, tingly, and very warm. It was a nice feeling. Ten should drink wine more often. "I feel really nice, like, calm."

Ten didn't realize he spoke until Johnny reaches over and gently pats his shoulder. Ten looks over and their eyes connect. The chubbiness of Johnny's cheeks are irresistible and Ten can't deny he never imagine kissing them no matter how fucking disgustingly vanilla that was of him, and his lips were the same.

Before Ten could stop himself, he finds himself situated on top of Johnny's lap. He doesn't know if it's okay with the latter, but he's been holding himself back too much. It was only time that he finally succumbed to his feelings.

Johnny looked a bit scared but his hands found purchase of Ten's hips, Ten tilted the glass of wine into his mouth and took another drink before bringing it back down. Johnny looked up at Ten with stars in his eyes, and the younger boy grinned softly, bringing his glass to Johnny's lips, watching the soft, pink, plump lips part, and he poured a generous amount of wine down Johnny's throat, Ten's eyes flitting between Johnny's lips and the sparkle in his eye.

When he pulled the glass away, Johnny swallowed and Ten smiled yet again. The hands of his hips tightened and Ten sighed softly as he swooped down and pressed a soft peck to Johnny's unresponsive lips, pulling away just for a moment before a hand slide from his hip to the back of his neck and pulled him back down for an eager kiss.

Ten felt his stomach tightening as he kissed Johnny, their lips moving together fast and desperate for the weeks worth of tension between them two. Ten shivered on top of Johnny's lap when he felt the older man's tongue swipe against his lips, asking for entrance and Ten was happy to oblige. The hand on Ten's hip gently brushed against the exposed skin on top of the elastic band of his underwear, eliciting a grunt from Ten who placed his own hand on Johnny's shoulder, his other hand holding the empty glass.

Ten moaned softly when he pulled away, Johnny's hands tightened in their places so he wouldn't back away. Ten couldn't deny that he was turned on, because hey, he was a man and men are pathetic and get turned off after a few minutes of making out. Johnny seemed to notice, his eye glossy and thick lips red from the makeout session. His hand trailed down to Ten's crotch, gently ghosting over, and Ten shivered, immediately pushing into Johnny's hand, craving more friction.

Johnny's eyes visibly darkened and Ten felt his stomach tighten yet again when he was pulled down into another kiss, this time more desperate, more frenzied, and Ten ground his ass onto Johnny's crotch, grunting when he felt the large swell through his Adidas joggers.

Ten was desperate, whether he denied it to himself or not all this time, he just really wanted Johnny. He reached down to the front of his jeans and unbuttoned them, zipping the zipper down and Johnny pulled away. Instead of pushing Ten away like he thought would happen, Johnny helped pull down his jeans just enough for his dick to spring free, only to be immediately gripped by Johnny's large hands. Ten groaned, falling into Johnny's chest as the older man jerked him off. He hasn't been touched by another person in so long he swear he might actually come just like this.

Johnny forced the boy to sit up, and Ten did as he twitched with every jerk. He forced the younger boy to look into his eyes, and when they did, Johnny's thumb pressed into the slit and Ten moaned out and panted as his eyes slipped closed on their own accord. Ten needed more.

Johnny's other hand went around and squeezed the soft flesh of his ass, gently pulling the cheek, and Ten whined as he didn't know which way to push into. Johnny's hand then slid between his cheeks, a curious finger pressing dryly against his hole. Ten gasped and attempted to push against it but the fingers were drawn away and he grunted.

Johnny then dug through the cushions of the couch, his movements faltering, until he found what he was looking for and proceeded back to jerking off the younger boy. Ten began thrusting into Johnny's hand, his little moans and pants and rushed head blocking out the sound of a bottle cap opening.

Suddenly, slicked fingers were back at his entrance and Ten's eyes opened, gasping when he felt the intrusion. Johnny looked up at Ten's reaction but his face was hidden by shadow. Ten had touched himself, of course he has, and fingering wasn't anything knew to him but it felt so foreign having someone else do it to him. He released his breath he didn't know he was holding and moaned softly.

"Put two, please, I can handle it," Ten gasped, voice shaking and wrecked. Johnny grunted and complied, pressing another finger to his entrance and sliding both fingers in. Ten moaned, precome coming out of his dick as he pushed back against the fingers rather desperately. "God, it's so tight. And you're so desperate." Johnny grunts, his own voice rather wrecked and Ten grinds his hips down.

Johnny fingered him for a while, spreading and scissoring Ten who writhed and jolted with every touch to his insides. Just then, a third finger was pressing along his entrance and Ten gasped when it breached inside of him. The burn was present, but Ten kind of like it was as dug his finger tips into the bony flesh of Johnny's shoulders. Ten couldn't handle it, he wanted more.

"Please - I-I'm ready, j-just, please," Ten stuttered, his voice wavering as he gasped when Johnny widened all three of his fingers with a throaty growl. When Johnny pulled his fingers out, Ten moved to pull his jeans down off completely, giving Johnny enough time to pull down his own pants and underwear and lube himself up. Ten crawled back into his lap and felt the slicked, thick length tap against his ass and he shivered as Johnny reached between and tapped his dick against Ten's hole. "Hurry, p-please, I-"

Ten was cut off when Johnny pushed the tip up into him with a throaty groan and Ten moaned meekly. The stretch was more prominent, the burn too much for Ten to handle, but he didn't cry out in pain when he forced himself down on Johnny's length. He did fall against Johnny's chest once he was seated on top of his thighs, stretched and open, eyes shut closed as he whimpered and adjusted to the size. Johnny gently rubbed his hips and Ten felt overwhelmed.

"It's s-so hot, you're so good, fuck," Johnny groaned, and Ten flushed. Very gently, he rolled his hips, groaning when he felt Johnny inside of him so tightly and deep. Johnny's hands tightened and Ten cried out. "F-fuck, Ten. Ah, Ten, Ten, Ten."

After a few seconds of not moving and heavy breathing, Ten lifted his hips, his hole burning as he slid up, and then fell down, sputtering and groaning as he repeated the action, earning deep groans from Johnny every time. When he found a steady rythym, the sound of skin against skin echoed throughout the room and Ten cried out when he felt Johnny press against the thing inside of him that made him see stars.

Johnny didn't seem as satisfied as Ten was in the position, because in seconds, Ten was lifted up and slammed into the couch, Johnny between his legs as he cried out yet again when Johnny began vigorously thrusting into him, their bodies jolting together. Ten wrapped his legs around Johnny's waist, his arms pinned against the sofa by Johnny's hands. He couldn't stop the downpour of mangled gasps, cries, and moans that escaped him as he felt his edge near.

Johnny leaned down into Ten's neck, his lips attaching to the bottom of his ear, sucking little marks as he grunted and pant. Ten allowed more access as clenched when he felt very close. He couldn't touch himself because of his hands being pinned and he spurted out strings of come onto his chest as he arched his back and cried out. Johnny bit into his neck, earning a disgruntled groan from the bottom boy as he snapped his hips a few times before spilling deep into Ten.

Ten gasped at the sensation, his body flushed and sore from being used in such ways, but he felt so fucking good. Johnny panted into Ten's neck, placing soft kisses on the new hickies, letting go of his bruised wrists and holding him close while still inside of him. Ten panted and didn't care, he was so tired.

When Johnny finally pulled out, he reached between Ten's legs and pushed a finger inside. Ten weakly cried out, feeling Johnny circle his come around inside of him. It was sick and perverted but Ten was too exhausted to care. He was surprised when a soft pair of lips came down and kissed him, and he softly kissed back, feeling his heart swell in size.

Ten fell back into the sofa cushions, his eyes slipping shut as Johnny's fingers exited his body. He felt the older boy get up off the couch and leave, and just as he was about to wallow away in regret and pity and maybe cry, he was surprised when a blanket was wrapped around him and a familiar body was laying next to him, moving in to cuddle Ten and hold him close. Ten nearly sobbed but held it in as he leaned back into Johnny.

"Thank you." Ten whispered meekly. He was so tired and so sad yet filled with gratitude for the man laying beside him

Johnny responded by placing a small, tender kiss on his hair.

 

 

_**THE NEXT DAY** _

  
Ten had woken up with a rather sore backside, and when he shifted just a bit, he suddenly remembers where he is and what happened. He kind of freaks out. It's so early in the morning that Rain hasn't even woken up yet, but Ten is so certain that they should leave ASAP.

His emotions are a bit all over the place as he attempts to unwrap himself from Johnny's hold, the other man grumbling in his sleep. When Ten sits up on the couch, he uses the blanket to cover himself as his eyes dart around the room to look for his clothes because for some reason he's fully nude when he doesn't remember taking his shirt off during the night. He bites his lip and avoids looking down at Johnny because he might literally break down.

Very quietly, he sneaks around Johnny and once his feet hit the cold floor, he nearly topples over from the sudden strike of pain down his backside, he holds onto the glass coffee table for support as he waits for the pain to dull. Then he's grabbing his jeans and underwear, putting his underwear on as best as he could with an aching backside. Just as he's putting on his jeans, a croaky voice echoes throughout the quiet apartment.

"Where are you going?"

Ten freezes, his muscles halting their movement, and then he's resuming putting on his jeans at a slower pace as he quite hesitantly answers.

"I-I'm leaving. We're l-leaving. I don't think... I shouldn't be here." Ten says on the verge of tears. He doesn't mean to be emotional, it's just that he sucks at controlling his feelings when he's overwhelmed. He's a bit shaky, but it's nothing that he can't blame on a wine hangover, if that was possible. He hears Johnny shifting on the sofa and he looks around for his t shirt without turning to face Johnny.

"What does this mean then?"

Johnny sounds a bit upset himself, but Ten is too in denial to understand that he's not the only one conflicted and confused. "W-what do you mean? T-this means n-nothing, this doesn't c-change anything. We're - we're friends, that's all."

The silence that pulls through is deafening but Ten fills it with thoughts of scenarios he made up in his head that shows how horrible of a person he is in general. Johnny doesn't deserve such a messed up person who does nothing but deliver mixed signals and can't even look after his son properly yet alone himself. Last night was a big mistake.

Suddenly Ten is being pulled out of his thoughts by a hand gripping onto his wrist. He is spun around and he nearly stumbled over but he controls himself as he gasps for air that is only short lived when lips are crashing onto his own. Ten hesitantly kisses back, his hands shaky as they grip onto Johnny's biceps and clings onto him desperately.

A flower of emotions blooms inside of him at that very moment. Ten pulls away, only to pull Johnny in close for a tight hug as he wills his tears away - he can't show how pathetic he is anymore. Johnny hugs him back just as tight, burying his nose into Ten's neck. Ten opens his eyes and his vision is blurred by tears and when he blinks, a few drops slides down onto Johnny's bare shoulder. His breath comes out shaky and Johnny responds by hugging him tenderly.

Ten sniffles and weakly giggles.

"I'm sorry," He croaks. Johnny pulls away and Ten avoids his eyes. "I hate myself. I can't control my emotions properly and I always end up crying. It's pathetic." Ten mumbles, sniffling even more. Johnny reaches a hand up and softly swipes away a tear, Ten can't help but look at him. Their eyes connect and Ten sighs when he sees worry and sadness in Johnny's stormy black eyes that are usually filled with brightness and hope.

"Do you want to sleep more?" Johnny asks, to which Ten realizes it's barely 5am and the sun is only coming out. He's still so tired. He nods, and Johnny nods.

Johnny leads Ten to his bedroom where Rain is still sleeping, and Ten climbs into the bed next to Rain and turns to Johnny who looks like he was just about to leave.

"Stay. Please," Ten whimpers quite pathetically. He just wants someone to hold him. As much as he holds Rain close whenever he is sad, he sometimes wishes the roles could be reversed but Rain is still so small. Johnny looks over and nods before closing the bedroom door and walking towards the bed next to Ten, who makes more room for the three of them. Johnny is unsure what to do, and Ten is a bit sad and frustrated. "Just - hold me, please."

So Johnny does.

He wraps an arm around Ten and another under him, cradling him like a baby, and Ten leans into him, resting his head on his chest. Ten's heart twinges and he shuts his eyes as he sniffles one last time.

Neither men fall asleep for a while. Ten lays awake as he tries hard not to overthink situations stress himself out into hating himself even more. Johnny lays awake holding the man who had made him feel something beautiful the first day they met.

Both men fall asleep after 6am, unknowing that both of them had come to a conclusion that they were in love with each other.

 

  
  


 

 

fin.

**Author's Note:**

> twitter: jih96n
> 
> DO NOT REPOST ON ANY OTHER WEBSITE


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